Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Foundation of a Relationship
What does it take to build a strong relationship???
It seems that now-a-days folks have no clue. Mind you these are just my thoughts. I think what most relationships lack is friendship. What I mean by that is taking the time out to get to know one another and establishing a friendship first. Sometimes folks can be so overwhelmed by the situation that they move too fast. Now I don't know when it is the right time to become a couple, but I do know that learning a person makes the situation better. People tend to rush into situations not knowing the little things about each other, such as favorite colors, music, movies, what makes them laugh or what makes them cry, even their past. It's almost like your involved with a stranger. Which leads me to my next questions is it love or lust most of the time? I understand when you first meet a person its more of a physical attraction, but you can not base the possibilities of having a long term relationship on the physical. Conversation is key and plays a big part of getting to know someone's personality. Conversation allows you to learn a person's likes, dislikes & things you may have in common. You can also determine the level of someone's intellect, goals and ambitions through conversation.
What is Insecurities???
Let's say that this situation has grown into a relationship. Is it one's own low self esteem or lack of confidence that cause's insecurity? Or is it just simply jealousy? First and foremost I believe that if you feel any type of insecurity you should express it to your mate immediately. Here are some examples of insecurity. Say you got all the confidence in the world about your looks, but financially you're not doing so well. In situations like this sometimes insecurities can sink in. And when that happens it causes arguments that may put a strain on the relationship. Another form of insecurity is low self esteem. If you sense or know that your mate has low self esteem you should always find away to build them up and boost their confidence level. I know that its other things in a relationships that causes insecurities but the last thing I want to speak on is jealousy. We all know about jealousy so there is really no need to elaborate on it. I will say this if your mate has jealousy issues it may be best to get out of the relationship before it gets out of hand. Here's a good quote for jealousy in a relationship:
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."
Trust is "PROBABLY" the most important element in a relationship. In my eyes if there is no trust, there is really no point in trying to commit. Trust is hard to earn now-a-days especially with all the immature games that people tend to play. Its like these days folks want to have their cake and eat it to. I feel you should never lead a person on, if your not interested in someone I think its best to let them know so they can move on with their life.
Everything grows with time. Eventually the friendship grows into a relationship, feelings have developed, good conversation has built up the trust level and at this point there is no need for insecurities. Finally!!! if all goes well this new bond has developed into "LOVE".
If There Is No Growth...There Is No Need To Water A Dead Plant....
THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS PEOPLE. I'M AWARE THAT IT'S A LOT MORE FACTORS THAT COME WITH RELATIONSHIPS, THESE ARE JUST A FEW THAT I WANTED TO TOUCH ON. SO FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT. YOUR POINT OF VIEWS WILL BE WELL TAKEN.
THANKS FOR READING B.JAMES